M/M sex, discipline, spanking. If the idea of a discipline relationship between consenting adult males offends you, so will this story.
ELIZABETH MARSHALL STORIES
"Talk to me, Silas," Richard said softly. "Why did you do it?"
"I don't know," Silas said fretfully. "I don't know, Richard! I won't do it again."
"Come here now." Richard beckoned Silas closer. Silas approached obediently.
Richard laid his hand gently on Silas’s forearm, meaning to draw him closer.
"Don't..." Silas shivered at his touch. "Please, I'm afraid."
"Baby." It was less than a term of affection. "Deep breath, Silas, I'm not hurting you," Richard said mildly, not removing his hand. "Talk to me."
"I don't know what you want me to say, Richard! I’m sorry.” Silas sounded utterly despondent. “I’m sorry. You think I'm a basket case."
"No, Silas," Richard said, "I don't think that. But for godssake, Silas, I don't know what to do with you."
"Didn't you realize I would recognize our IP address? Silas, don't you know anything about how these groups work? Or did you want me to figure it out?"
"No! Richard, I'm sorry!"
Richard tried to modulate his voice. Silas sounded intensely miserable. But it was frustrating. He had tried to get Silas to discuss their relationship in a rational fashion, to no avail.
Silas was naturally submissive; of that Richard had no doubt. His willingness to follow dovetailed nicely with Richard's desire to lead. Silas loved the security of being told what to do.
Richard had unilaterally called a halt to the discipline portion of their relationship. Silas's reaction to deserved punishment nagged at Richard's conscience. Richard expected tears and repentance, not the hysterical protests that Silas mustered.
And yet Silas had had the wherewithal to mint a new ID and post to Richard's favorite domestic discipline group! And what he had said had shocked Richard:
>>My Top doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore. I don't think he loves me. I don't even think he likes me very much. >>
"What do you want from me, Silas? What is it you need to make you feel loved? What is it you're asking for, Silas?"
"I don't know! I don't know! I'm stupid, all right? Is that what you want me to say, I'm a fucking asshole?"
"Be quiet now." Richard spoke calmly, wanting to soothe his exercised partner, but Silas was having none of it.
"No." Richard sounded very certain and very cold. "I am not going to 'make you' be quiet. I am not going to 'make you' stay in this relationship. You need to make a decision. If you want a discipline relationship, we need to sit down and figure out just what that means for us."
"Are you throwing me out?" Silas asked shakily.
"No, Silas. I like you, goddamnit. But I'm not going to be jerked around this way."
"Please, Richard, I don't know what to do! I need you to help me!"
"I can't help you if you won't talk to me!" There, it was out.
Silas cringed at the edge in Richard's voice.
"I'm sorry, Richard!"
"Just talk to me, Silas." Richard spoke more gently.
"Please Richard, help me?" Silas asked quietly. "I want to do this discipline thing, Richard, I do. I know I need this. But I can't figure it out on my own. I'm scared. I never used to be scared."
"What do you mean, Si?" Richard asked, his curiosity engaged.
"I had boyfriends who spanked me, before I met Mack, and I was fine with it. I mean, I don't think I ever had a boyfriend who didn't think I needed a smack on the ass now and then." Silas tilted his head, trying to gauge if Richard appreciated his candor or was appalled by his confession.
"Spanked you as part of a sex game or spanked you for punishment?" Richard asked.
"Um," Silas said. "Little bit of both, maybe? Like, I like guys who like to run the show. And I hate being spanked, but I like knowing that someone cares enough to?"
Richard listened carefully. Silas was being honest; he owed Silas the courtesy of an honest response.
"You want me to spank you when you're out of line." Richard was sure Silas would protest having it spelled out so boldly.
"I guess. Yeah." Silas looked down. "What you said, Richard."
"All right, Silas. From now on, if I don't like your behavior, I will spank you."
"Yes, Richard," Silas said softly.
"I expect you to cooperate. No tantrums, no hysterics. Do you understand me?"
"That's no good at all!" Silas wailed. "I can't always do that, Richard!"
"Easy, Silas, easy," Richard said reassuringly. "We need to talk about this."
"Just spank me," Silas said. "I need you to spank me even if I don't want you to."
"I don't feel right spanking you when you're as upset as you get," Richard said.
"Do it anyway." Silas sounded very certain. "I trust you, Richard. You can push me."
"Silas, I love you." Richard felt a shiver run up his spine. To be granted that power! For the first time in weeks, Richard felt as if he had some control over their relationship. It was a good feeling.
"I love you too, Richard." Silas felt safer than he had for a long time.
"You're getting a spanking, Silas," Richard said conversationally. "You don't play games online with me, Silas."
"What?" Safe was a relative term. "Richard, no!"
"Oh yes. Now, Silas. No arguments, please."
Silas swallowed hard. Rising, he undid his jeans. Pushed them down and arranged himself gingerly over Richard's knees.
Richard stroked Silas's lower back gently. Grasped the waistband of his shorts and slid them down to his thighs. He could feel Silas against him, warm and totally soft. He stroked his hand once over his lover's tensed buttocks; felt Silas quiver.
"OW!" Silas cried out at the first impact of palm against flesh. "Ow!" It hurt. "Ow!" He shifted uncomfortably. Richard's free hand caught his hip, steadying him.
It wasn't a particularly hard spanking, but it was far from a series of love taps. In the end, Silas was sniffling and Richard's palm was stinging.
Silas slid gracelessly to his knees and tried to back away.
"No." Richard stayed with him. "Come to me now."
"Please Richard, I hate this part," Silas mumbled.
"I know you do. Come to me." Richard refused to let Silas retreat. "I want you to let me hold you, Silas. This isn't negotiable anymore."
"Oh." Silas shivered. "It's so fucking humiliating," he whispered.
"No, Silas, it's not," Richard said. "It's not about that. I love you. You trusted me to spank you; now trust me to love you. You need to do this, Silas." He pressed his lips insistently to Silas's.
With a sigh that might have been "thank you," Silas opened his mouth and let Richard's kisses put an end to all coherent speech.
Thank you, Rusty and Hedeia, for your patient support. EM